Top 10 Puns

The Brief

Off the back of Neal’s Top 10 Films, I was asked for my Top 10 Puns.

Hoping I haven’t misunderstood, and “Puns” is actually some underground term for something far more sordid?

I’ve hedged my bets with some one-liners and wordplay anyway. Here they be…

#10

“

I’d love to get another tattoo.
But I haven’t got a tattoo.

”

Unknown, untattooed source

“

If you step on the accelerator and brake pedals at the same time, your car takes a screenshot.

”

Unknown, Millennial source

“

Hopefully I’ve got a book coming out soon.
I shouldn’t have eaten it really.

”

Milton Jones

“

Lif is too short

”

Unknown, dyslexic source

“

I haven’t slept for 10 days because that would be too long.

”

Mitch Hedberg

“

Post-Graduate Sociology exam, Question 1:
Your degree is useful for driving:
a) cab

”

Milton Jones

“

I accidentally filled up the Escort with diesel.
She died.

”

Gary Delaney

“

Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t.

”

Unknown source who is known

“

How to fall downstairs…
Step 1: Step 6.
Steps 7, 8, 9.

”

Probably Sickipedia

“

RIP torn paper

”

Neil Buchanan